help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
