who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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