Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
