those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
