Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
