Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
When did angry sex become our thing?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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