When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I can text with my tongue
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
