He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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