Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think I sprained my soul last night
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
