Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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