I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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