The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
