Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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