My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
