omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We are all done wearing pants today
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize