turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
