Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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