You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
