I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize