what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
