we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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