So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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