don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
