he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize