Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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