Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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