i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
