xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize