If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
