I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
