Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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