i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
