Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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