I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize