covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize