Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
