i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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