Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
