i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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