I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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