Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
