Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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