Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
