he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
