this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
