I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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