I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
