I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
