what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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