white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He kissed a someone with a penis
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
