summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
