? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
