giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize