my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
