it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Randomize
