I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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