Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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