ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I hope mine doesn't look like that
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
