i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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