is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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