My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
