its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
