She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
